Top 10 things every guy in a long term relationship should know.

1. Chick Flicks are a given. There's no way of fighting it. These tear jerkers will become much more frequent in your life and a lot of the times you will get the odd stare saying: "Why can't you be more like that guy in that movie?" Popular choices among the female race are: You got mail, P.S. I love you, When Harry met Sally and the queen mother of them all, The Notebook.

2. Whenever she says "Don't worry I'll pay", it only means that once you get to the pay window at the Drive-thru she'll give you a doe-eyed look that screams "I'd rather spend this money on skin cream that costs R400/ml over the weekend." So inevitably you end up paying, feeling like a gentleman and feeling R100 poorer.

3. Whenever you ask "Can I help you with something?" she will ALWAYS say "don't worry it's okay". Don't fall into this trap boys. You will more than likely get the silent treatment later on in the night for not helping. I know what you're thinking, she already said don't worry. That's where you're wrong. It subconsciously means just get up and do something, even if it's moving the TV 2 inches to the left.

4. You will see your girlfriend try on 4 pairs of shoes, which end up to be the exact same pair every time. She won't like it the first time, she will the second time, they'll be the wrong colour the 3rd time and on the 4th try she will either buy them or storm out the store complaining about how there's nothing she ever likes.

5. Brad Pitt, Gerard Butler, The Twilight, Vampire Diaries and True Blood boys will always make their knees weak. But those fellows wont be the ones killing a spider she found in the bathroom at 11 o' clock at night.

6. Moodswings. They're no Urban Myth, they happen. Your other half will sometimes get the urge to change from Kind, Warm and Loving to Cold-hearted, Ruthlesss and Over-Emotional.

7. Move along the GQ's, Playboys, FHM's. Your rack of magazines will soon include Cosmo, Woman's Health and Heat. Don't fight it guys. Read up. It's like having another team's playbook.

8. She will have friends that she hates, loves, hates, loves, hates and love again. All in one week. Try to keep up and react accordingly when coming across them in public.

9. There will always be the ex that was like Superman, Chuck Norris, The Bachelor and MacGyver all in one.

10. Don't try watching long sessions of sport. Stick to a 2 hour game of rugby at most. And be prepared to hop to Isidingo or 7de Laan every 5 minutes. This will more than likely happen at the very moment of a try being scored. Just grin and bear it.

Cartoon done by Kevin Spear of kevinspear.com